Back to Skool


My 16-year-old son started back to school last week and it was all that I expected, and less.

My son, Henry (not his real name for Pete’s sake) is a real putter-offer…a procrastinator of epic proportions, just like his Mom. 🙂 To give you a glimpse of his psyche, have a gander at a conversation he and I had last year, right before school, courtesy of an old Facebook post:

Me: Do you want to go out tonight and get your book bag or wait until tomorrow? If we go tomorrow you have to get up early – no sleeping in because I have to work in the afternoon.

Henry: Tomorrow.

Me: Ok but you can’t sleep all day; you have to get up.

Henry: Tomorrow.

Yeah. That didn’t happen…the getting up part, I mean. I knew it wouldn’t because Henry is my child…and as such, he is genetically wired to wait until the last minute.

And, if that weren’t enough, since he is a male, after all, he is averse to shopping of any sort, but particularly to clothes shopping. Moms of girls, take note…you may have to max out your credit cards every new school year so that your daughter can look her absolute, well dressed, adorable best in school, but at least…at the very least…you don’t have to drag a snarky teenage boy around to department stores, begging him to at least try something on for size as he whines and complains about what an abhorrent human you are because you want him to dress nicely.

So, I did what any desperate mother would do in this situation: I made my husband go with us, you know, so he could be the mean parent. And, oh yes, we may have: waiteduntilthelastpossibleminuteandthenkidnappedHenryandnotletonastoourultimatedestinationuntilwewerealreadythere.


This year, however, I decided to take a bit of a different psychological approach to the school apparel shopping: I decided to let Henry pick out things for himself, without any undue influence from me. Because apparently, I am a real dumb ass when it comes to fashion for teenage boys. Just look at the ridiculous shirt I bought for him recently, and actually expected him to wear:
awesome tee

I know, I must be some kind of psychopath.

So, I gave him only a few minimal parameters to follow:

  1. We need at least one pair of long pants because eventually it will get cold and shorts might become uncomfortable even though you will insist when it’s 13 degrees outside that a tee shirt and shorts are suitable attire.
  2. I know you love sports, but perhaps there can be some items in your wardrobe that do not contain the Nike swoosh?
  3. You need a hoodie… because eventually it will get cold and…oh never mind.

And you know what? We actually made it out of the department store without killing each other, even though pretty much every shirt he picked out contained exactly zero buttons and did indeed have the Nike swoosh emblazoned upon it.

Baby steps, people, baby steps.

And as an added bonus, he said, “Thank you Mom.”  I actually thought I heard trumpets! Did I happen to mention that I love this kid?

reason mom drinks

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